I am still very much me.
Thoughts a lil disjointed, mood a lil erratic, but otherwise I am still very much me.
Many things have been happening, and I am still struggling to internalize and digest all the events and emotions. Emotions is a scary creature, on days it washes all over, slooshing through my every vein. On other days, it seemed almost foreign, like a barely visible fog that wafts in and out of my vision.
偶尔清晰，偶尔模糊
I recall reading a book about a boy who has the ability to transfer injuries. He started transferring all sorts of injuries from others to himself, because he’d rather that he suffer alone in this world. One day, he met a girl, who had little will to live. He started to wonder if he can transfer mental pain as well, instead of physical pain and wounds. He held her hand, and transferred her pain to himself.
What happened next was beyond his expectations, the amount of pain was far more excruciating than any physical wounds he had experienced. The visceral pain engulfed him inside out.
I don’t remember what happened in the end, but I remembered the paragraphs where he met the girl very well, and the imageries of him transferring the pain, collapsing and crumpling from the pain from the words.
I wondered if in the end he recovered from it all, that beautiful soul who sacrificed himself for others. He could have easily used his ability to transfer pain to another individual, but he chose not to.
I guess, we are truly the sum of our choices.
We chose to become us, amidst the many different choices and circumstances that we are subjected to.
We chose to become us.
Hiam 