I read my previous post and laughed.
I have ceased to exist in 2023 as well.
Before work starts in full swing (it has already started, just perhaps not that in my face yet), I thought it would be good to post something to justify the payment to retain this domain, and this pristine blog.
2023, for a lack of better words, started out full of hope…
which slowly turns into a facade
then molted to a mirage
All the empty promises made, all the hurtful words, all the losses, all the pain, all the setbacks…so many things about it were negative.
I scoured my brains to look for positive moments, and I couldn’t find any.
A short chat I had with A, reminded me about loads of things.
“Why you never ever ask me how I feel?”
“Because you are someone who needs to digest your own feelings and emotions, clarify and see if you want to internalise it or not, and make appropriate changes to it. I don’t need to ask how you feel, I will see it from your actions and words. You don’t need to talk about it, you need time left alone to digest.”
“Now?”
“You are still trying to digest and make sense of it. It’s all very normal, just like the digestive system, you digest, you assimilate those that you think are beneficial, and for those that cannot be digested, it will be excreted. That’s you. You don’t thrive talking about yourself, you thrive on being able to listen to your own thoughts, and handle them.”
“Aren’t you worried that I feel that you don’t care about me?”
“You know whether someone cares about you or not. Everyone does, just that some don’t acknowledge it that’s all.”
I think the conversation encapsulates my feelings about 2023.
I am trying to digest, and maybe getting indigestion from overworking.
But I will become better.
Hopefully.
Hiam 