Category: personal

Enough is enough.

thehiamsLeave a comment

DSC_3270es

Oh, look (at my half hearted attempt to atleast put up a visual on my blog post)! That shot of the ong-lai came in handy afterall, just when I needed it the most.

I’ve been in a slump recently. I didn’t take much photos, didn’t edit photos, didn’t do this, didn’t do that.

I should just rename myself, Miss Didn’t-do.

The day finally came when I don’t have any pictures to update the blog with (which by the way, is the perfect excuse to not update blog).

I miss the me, who’s driven by passion. The me now is driven by sleep – if I embark on this, would I have less sleep? If yes, skip. If no, monitor, it could still very jeopardize my sleep in the long run.

Yes, judge if you must. Like any other human-being who is now stuck in the rat race, sleep is for the utmost important to me. I’m being very self-centric right here, there I’ve said it, stop hounding me over it. I became someone who is very focused on just getting by day to day.

Alarm rings, wake up, bathe, breakfast, work, home, dinner, sleep, repeat.

I am your average city-dweller, who just wants the week to get through, so I can finally end the reign of the alarm clock on weekends. I am comfortable, everything is on auto-pilot mode.

Alls good, no?

Then on Friday, when I finally did sit down and watch a video. And it left me thinking, am I truly living? (cues existential crisis music)

I repeated his speech twice. There’s many brilliant souls that he mentioned. But the one thing he hoped for everyone of his friends present in the hall, struck me. Indeed, facing darkness with dignity.

Forget about long term dreams. Let us be passionately dedicated to the pursuit of short term goals, Micro-ambitious.

Work with passion and pride of what is infront of us.

We don’t know where we might end up, or when it might end up.

There you have it, Jake Bailey handled life after death with grace, dignity and wisdom. Death, reminds each and every one of us, that our time on this planet is finite. To some, death is but a rude awakening, or a legit excuse to further spiral down the abyss.

We are all so engrossed with setting long term goals, and work fiercely towards it. That we left out the minor progresses that deserves a celebration. Because in our own eyes, we are never enough, we are never adequate as compared to the brilliant souls who walked before us.

We are never enough.

The video is a timely reminder, that we are enough, if we seek to work with pride and passion.

We are enough.

I am enough.

It is time to ditch our worst critics, and enable us to grow at our own time and our own space. Ultimately, as time rolls by, you realize that perhaps, we are all…

anything but ordinary.

A day of my life

thehiamsLeave a comment

DSCF9725es

DSCF9729es

Extra holidays are frivolous, so one must spend all the time outside with all the other folks who also didn’t work – says no one ever.

I am really thankful for friends who drive and volunteers to pick me up, to indulge in cafes that are out of reach.

We hit Da Paolo for lunch, this nice quiet cafe next to Botanical Gardens. It was no longer quiet after we entered the cafe.

In the typical fashion of me, I over-ordered. I had Carbonara and a large Latte AND an almond croissant (the last one of the day!). I think my brain registers all eating events as – GO BIG OR GO HOME. I usually end up as GO BIG THEN GO HOME.

I love the almond croissant, the crust, the almond, the custard and everything. I secretly wished that I didn’t polish off the carbonara, so that I can enjoy the croissant even more. Alas, the gluttony couldn’t bare to leave the plate alone.

After too much food, we head to Botanical Gardens nearby to (half-heartedly) walk off all the calories. The weather is sinisterly hot, which explains the clear blue skies. Our walk around the park lasted for approximately 20 minutes.  Botanical Gardens is a beautiful place (when not crowded with 19328478924698234 people having picnics), the scenery is very un-Singapore-ish, and is a good place for an evening stroll with your friends. Or perhaps ponder over our mid-life crisis. Or to have conversations with ourselves (but not too loudly because you don’t want people to call the IMH on you).

Because it was a non-peak day, there weren’t any dogs available to stalk pet. There were alot of screeching kids. We saw people in heels and high slit cheongsams.

DSCF9744

DSCF9763es

Walked over and saw the swans. All 3 of them, feeding on the attention that the crowd gave.

What magnificent birds! squealed one.

I look on with half curiosity and disdain. I hate birds, and they always seem to know that I have this morbid fear of them and charge towards me with malicious intent.

This one in the picture charged towards us with its wing all spread out. SEE! I told you the hatred is mutual!

Not peace-loving, no chill birds. I was looking at the tortoises ok, I wasn’t even standing near you!

I hate birds.

This is such an abrupt end to an otherwise happy post. I re-iterate that I am happy to hang out with my friend, just not too happy about getting chased by birds.

On my table

thehiams3 Comments

DSCF9458

This afternoon, I took a photo of the pile of books on my table as I scribbled on my notebook.

My current reads:

The Zoo Quest Expeditions by Sir David Attenborough (please insert heart in eyes emoji in your own imagination)

and

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (in Chinese – I’ve gotten this a present last Christmas)

I used to beable to sit down for hours (perhaps that could also aid to explain my larger-than desired butt) and just read. I could read and forget about meals, and be in the zone. But sadly, these days, I’ve been fiddling with my phone more than my books.

My pile of books waiting to be read, waiting to be given life, sits in a lonely pile in a box – neglected, and seemingly abandoned.

The inertia is real, and very scary. The amount of guilt that I felt every time my gaze fell on the box is…

I took f.o.r.e.v.e.r to read through half of the book. The younger me would prolly look at the me now in absolute disgust, appalled at the person I’ve became (eh, sorry la. Adulting sucks, or rather I suck at adulting). I used to polish off books so fast, and concocted all these lovely little mini movies in my head whilst I read.

My attention span is now very very questionable and (somewhat) disappointing.

It’s extraordinary how self-obsessed human beings are. The things that people always go on about is, ‘tell us about us’, ‘tell us about the first human being’. We are so self-obsessed with our own history. There is so much more out there than what connects to us.
– Sir David Attenborough

Shucks. I’m self-obsessed too.

Back to the books!

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in concert

thehiams2 Comments

hp1

Almost 21 years since the debut of Harry Potter books.

Almost 16 years since Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets movie.

Yet, all of us sitted there, mostly adults mind you, were still engrossed whilst the orchestra played and accompanied the movie running on the screen. It was as though, we all had a common childhood.

A common magical childhood.

We cheered for our houses. Laughed when Dobby kept trying to save, or rather almost accidentally murdering, Harry Potter. Murmured the lines that we kept close to our hearts from the years of watching the movie.

EAT SLUGS MALFOY.

Mudbloods, Half-bloods, Basilisk, Petrified, Enchanted Cars, Slugs, Moaning Myrtle, Crabbe and Goyle, Wild Bludgers, Heir of Slytherin, Spiders, Aragog, Gilderoy Lockhart, Polyjuice Potion, Duelling Club…

So many familiar terms, familiar faces, familiar sounds.

A whole hall of strangers, bonding together momentarily, because of Harry.

The wise words in the books, which struck me again and again, after all this time. Thank you for moulding me into the person I am.

hp quote

Indeed, it is about our choices, which makes us unique.

The magical night, left me light on my steps and hungry for the very next Harry Potter series concert.

Next up, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

DSCF9445

 

thehiamsLeave a comment

DSCF9410es

Lately, it has been raining.

Sometimes, pouring,

Sometimes, drizzling.

Sometimes, raining cats and dogs and perhaps godzilla.

And the non-stop rain, left a temporary effect on the temperature of our naturally toasty weather. It has been a rather cooling 22-24 degrees celsius for the past few days. It’s like…our entire nation is air-con weather.

Alot others call it sweater weather.

And I? I am just grateful that the weather is cooling after my rashes episode. Cooler weather is gentler on my red rash condition. Less sweat, less rash. Hence, I’ve been walking around in my tees and shorts, much to my amazement and amusement of my relatives – who are all decked in pull-overs, cardigans and….heat tech socks.

But the grey skies…just makes one feel very lazy and unmotivated. The need to curl up in bed covered in warm toasty blankets is real. But the cooling weather, made me wake up earlier than usual, and the dread of sitting on the porcelain throne is very real. Hence I cannot wait for this episode to be over.

Besides, my rash is (mostly) gone.

2018, is off to a really queer start, and I am looking forward to an equally queer journey ahead. As I sit infront of the window, typing out this entry, the sound of the rain drops pitter and pattering gradually fades. The scenery clears up.

Perhaps, it is but time to return to reality.