Category: Shoots

Changes

thehiamsLeave a comment

That day, a cute birdy flew into the balcony of our home. At first it circled around happily, chirping happily. It started shrieking when it realized that it doesn’t know the way out. Its friend heard the cry and was circling outside of our balcony, largely concerned, but doesn’t know how to help the trapped bird.

I hastily took some photos before approaching the bird, worried that the alarmed bird might smash against the window and hurt itself. After several minutes of gesturing towards the window, and whispering “over here! over here!” It finally decided to heed the advice and flew out of the window.

It was finally free, and it flew off, partner in tow.

I waved bye bye, and hope that it will learn from this nasty experience and not get trapped again.

I googled, it was a sunbird.

xxx

Went to have dinner, and auntie at the restaurant was alarmed that I was there alone.

“小妹妹，做么你一个人吃饭？“

“这样没有人会抢我的食物。“

Auntie chuckled and took my order.

“我不要虾、还有octopus”

“aiyo, 不可以挑食。“

“aiya过敏嘛，不是挑食，可以吃我也想吃！”

“噢，原来这样啊！“

Auntie quickly went to kitchen and yelled out my order. When she came back with this huge bowl of mentaiko chirashi, she wiggled her eyebrows at me.

“我想，你会喜欢的。“

I didn’t quite understand her words, until I started eating, and discovered that the bowl was made up of 70 percent fresh cut sashimi and maybe 30 percent rice. That day, I couldn’t finish the entire bowl, and this was the first for me.

Thank you auntie, for feeding me well.

xxx

Out exploring, and the skies are pretty. Clouds looked really fluffy, just like the freshly spun cotton candy.

蓝天白云 – perfect recipe for a scorching afternoon.

I was really thirsty and had to duck into a random shop to get myself a chilled bottle of mineral water. Ever since the mineral bottles have gone for the more green look, the bottle caps have became thinner, and I forever struggle with opening them.

After trying for a good 5 minutes, I admit defeat and went back into the shop to ask for help from the cashier auntie.

“aiyo girl ah, 年纪轻轻就没有力！“

She wet her palm with the damp washcloth on the table and twisted the cap open.

“谢谢你，不然我就渴死了。“

She reminded me of my mom, both of them are of similar age as well.

“Girl ah, 你很夸张勒！“

“救命恩人勒！“

Both of us had a good laugh while the other customers watched with amusement.

Thank you auntie, for helping me with a seemingly small task.

Ask and you shall receive.

xxx

While I was standing underneath the sign, I felt that it is a sign that I should slow down and enjoy the moment.

The warm breeze, the hustling crowd, the stream of cars.

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing, the sky is really blue today.”

“Yeah, now that you mention it, it is really blue.”

“Don’t you think that this is an interesting place?” I uttered a random sentence back to the stranger.

“Why so?”

“The mix of grey of the urban at the further back, and the burst of colors along the shop houses. The old and the new playing together to give life to this place.”

“Hmmm, you are right!” He lifts up his camera and started clicking away.

“Thank you for seeing joy in the ordinary.” He smiles and walks away.

Thank you for the conversation too, random man on the street.

xxx

This Wednesday saw the birth of unrest, and my anxiety bubbled.

I don’t know what to make of the news, and I grapple with reality each morning I open my eyes.

I did what I do best, I block out my feelings and continue my day.

As I sit and type this, the complex feelings just found its way out of the barricade.

“顺其自然。“

I guess life will always find a way.

xxx

You.

thehiamsLeave a comment

Hey you.

Things might be really tough right now, where everyday becomes a challenge, your mind always in a frenzy.

Your mental complains get more and more frequent, to the point where you’re tired of listening to your own complaints. The complaints are like the unnecessary reruns on telly, unrelenting.

The more you listen to the hum of the complaints, the more dishearten you feel. Like you’re struggling against the current, trying to inch towards an imaginary island that you can no longer envision.

It must have been really tiring, haven’t it?

But remember, you’re never alone. You’re well loved. This period might suck, but it will not be sucky forever.

If you don’t learn to let go, you will never learn to float in the sea. If you don’t let go, eventually the amount of exhaustion will drown you.

Perhaps there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, the burst of runs may turn out to be futile…but atleast I tried. Hurt as I may, I can proudly say that I’ve really tried.

Meanwhile, just keep swimming, just keep trying.

Perhaps one day, I’ll see you at the end of the road.

Beauty in the ordinary.

thehiamsLeave a comment

Processed with VSCO with c2 preset

Recently, I felt uninspired. ( Such a mouthful )

So that day, I decided to venture out with my camera in hand and see what I can see at that moment of time.

In my head, I was thinking, what will I see? Prolly the same old things that I see daily? Nothing new? Everything looks the same?

I was skeptical, even though I already dragged my arse off the couch, abandoning Finding Dory on TV ( such determination! ).

At one point of time, the camera in hand, turned into the camera in bag. Indeed, everything looks as it is. I should have stayed on the couch and finished up my Finding Dory!

As Dory always says, Just keep swimming.

So I just kept walking, hoping to find something that will make me trigger happy. I walked at a crawling speed, slowing down even further as I walked past people. Hoping to hear something – to be part of their conversations momentarily. To have a fragment of their life, even for just a split second.

I started to walk and pause, walk and pause.

There are parents bringing their children out to cycle, couples walking to have their dinner, two ladies were having an intimate conversation (possibly about the dinner that they are going to have), a woman racing her dog. I was part of their life, for a split second.

“Where are you headed towards?”

“XXX condo! You?”

“Oh! That’s pretty close! Today’s my first day at work! I’m still not quite used to it. How long have you been with Grabfood?”

” Few months. You will get used to it, it gets easier.”

“I think of the child that is at home, and all that I am missing out…I don’t think I will ever get used to it.”

One man gave the other an understanding pat on his shoulder. He feels and understand.

I am thankful, that I was part of such a beautiful connection of two humans, even for the briefest moments.

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I continue to walk, as I watched couples taking pictures at the park. I wanted to volunteer, but I don’t want to intrude on their private moments. I watched them pose and took photos for 10 minutes.

“Beep!” An alarm sound rang behind me. A teenager was riding on his e-scooter around the park, taking turns with his friends. Their laughter rang, breaking the silence.

As I walked, I finally understood the intent of this walk. It is not to see with my eyes, but to see, hear and feel with my heart.

Seeing the beauty and joy of the ordinary.

Style.

thehiamsLeave a comment

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With more free time, comes greater questions and more anxiety.

I can almost hear people laughing at my silly sentence. Isn’t free time great? You get to do what you are interested in! You get to enjoy life! You get to travel out!

True, but it also means that you have more time on your hands and butt, to sit down and start to properly reflect on the things you have done, have yet to do, would like to do, and the list goes on.

Everyone has different ways of handling free time, I guess mine is just on the other end of the spectrum. I spent alot of time thinking about things, and starting to dig things out, and start to critique my own stuff. The more I see, the more I think…

The more I pick apart my own work.

Everything I do, seems to be insufficient, measured against my own standards. And where the hell does my own standards, stems from? How did I formulate this notion of standards in my own head?

I subconciously lifted my arm to reach out for my phone, and without even flinching – I clicked opened a social media app. I mindlessly scrolled through the images, my eyes being bombarded with different visuals, colors, media, presentation.

At that moment of time, it struck me deep. I measured my own works with whatever that I picked up on social media app.

I am the green-eyed monster, who’s jealous of what others are capable of achieving, and I? I achieved nothing except hoarding thousands and thousands of images in my hard disk that I have shot over the years, many of which didn’t live to see the digital light of the day.

As the people on social media app always says – you got to be confident about yourself, then learn to love yourself. Only then you will shine in whatever you choose to do. Sure, I have no doubts about that advice, I think that’s brilliant advice! But Honey, you forgot to mention how hard it is to build up that confidence with whatever is left getting trampled on by others.

It’s ok, but we can all try.

I looked at the images I have, and I realize that I do not have a consistent style. It can also be accredited to the fact that I am a very moody person, and I shoot according to mood. So all the photos turned out very differently. ( I can almost hear someone going AH SEE EXCUSES LAI LIAO! )

But amazingly to others, they say that I do have a very distinct style, and they should be able to tell that this photo is by me when asked to differentiate.

Ok, perhaps I am not too bad! There’s hope!

Why that photo at the start of this entry? I’ve read Miss Ice Sandwich by Mieko Kawakami, during this short break of mine.

What hit home with me, was how Japanese authors have this way of creating beauty with simplicity. I love it in the way they saw beauty in our everyday life and quirks. The story was simple yet beautiful, and it allows you to rethink your life.

Still water runs deep. Something so simple, stirred something deep inside of me.

Perhaps, just perhaps, we need to learn to just put down our phones, judgement and schedules and enjoy the moment as it is.

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Who cares what style?

At this moment of time, I guess I really don’t quite care.

Curated

thehiamsLeave a comment

Have you ever wondered, how curated everyone’s life is on social media? Not just the celebrities, but your friends, your relatives…

and you.

Are you guilty of curating your life too? Are you guilty of glamouring your photos and captions, so that yours is comparable with others?

Some days, when I tap on the app, and all the different images starts bombarding on the retina of my eyes. Woah, she’s diving! So cool! Wah…he’s in Europe right now – Envy! The food looks so yummy.(Or styled and edited to look so good – edibility each sold seperately.)

Everyone is so unique, and having the time of their life.

What about me? ole me?

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While everyone is out there playing and enjoying (or I presume that they are). I’m actually stuck at home, feeling small and miserable. geeking it out and not feeling apologetic.

I don’t know why are we trained to believe that if we are not out there, doing something new and innovative, hanging out with friends – we are wasting our time moping at home, and that is frowned upon.

Imagine the numerous frowns that I’m about to subject myself to when I declare myself as a homebody. Sure, I have days when I wished that I can travel the globe without a care. Catch the sunrise every morning, without having to consider if I would be late for work. Catch the sunset every evening, preferably not from the windows of my workplace.

Like any other responsible human being on the planet, if you do realize it by now.

I work.

After I work, I’m too pooped to – even meet anyone, form a coherent sentence, hold a somewhat intelligent conversation with anyone.

I just want people to leave me alone.

I digress but now I’m at home, skin spotted with angry looking red rashes from food allergy, as I stared at the itchy inflamed skin, I can’t help but to feel maligned. I didn’t even eat any prawn, how on earth did all these happen. Away and alone, I do what I do best.

I read and I pop bubbles.

Processed with VSCOcam with hb1 presetAccurate caption: I ITCHY. I ANGST.I SQUEEZE DIE DIS BUBBLE.

DSC_5244esAccurate caption: SQUEEEEEEZE! AND POP!

IMG_7250_2esAccurate Caption: I can’t pop bubbles, read, turn pages and take photos at the same time.

I kid.

The Kinfolk Home is a good read for those who are looking to decorate their new home or seeking interior design inspiration. Every home, comes with a story. This is what it should be, because…

Home, is where the heart is.

Clouds

thehiamsLeave a comment

I’ve contemplated for a looooong time if I should post up this series of photos but since it is ready, I shall just take the plunge and post it.

The people around me  know that I like Bulbasaur, totoro (SO ROUND SO SQUISHY) and star wars.

What if you put bulbasaur, totoro and storm trooper together? Toss in some baby’s breath, what sort of synergy will I get out of it?

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and to be honest? I love this series.

And no, I do not care if you don’t like it.