On Friday, I rushed down to the cinemas (alone!) so that I can enjoy the movie that I’ve been anticipating – I Feel Pretty.
Firstly, it is starring Amy Schumer! Secondly, it talks about self-esteem issues. Lastly, I believe that it is supposedly pushing for the idea that I believe in the most – being unapologetically you wins people over, and not the facade that you put up everyday.
I was sold. I need to watch the movie asap.
I stepped into the cold cinema (can someone please educate me on why is the a/c in the cinema always so blood chilling cold? Was it a feeble attempt to help us burn calories whilst we stuff our face with popcorn?) with a bucket of popcorn.
Amy Schumer plays Renee Bennett, a woman who has low self esteem and is unhappy about her life (or her lack of life). She meets this amazingly beautiful girl played by Emily Ratajkowski, and desperately hopes that she will be as pretty as her – to the extent that she went out in a thunderstorm to toss a coin to make a wish.
The next day, at a spinning class, she hit her head hard and became…delusional, that she became the slim pretty girl she has always wanted to be – warning, stereotype ahead: pretty means having thin thighs, nice ass and great boobs, the icing on the cake is having a face with a chiselled jawline.
She feels good about herself and became very very confident, well, at one point of time confidence is good. Then over-confidence turned her into a douche.
There were many parts of the movie when I thought, hmmm, they could have delved deeper into the topic. But no, it remained a superficially happy movie.
Her friends never bothered to tell her that she looks the same? My friends would have tied me down with a straight jacket and sent me to the mental institute straight away. The moment of realization that she is still the same old her and not who she thought she would be didn’t pan out well, that 10 – 15 mins of speech at the end of the movie wasn’t enough to save the entire movie like I hoped it would. Her friends forgave her for being a douche after that inspiring speech on stage.
There was many times I hoped that they would have explored self esteem and stereotypes further, how a seemingly successful businesswoman has her insecurities, how a stunningly beautiful woman has her own issues as well. Imagine if you allow it to delve deeper, the message sent across in the movie – would have been stronger.
I sat there, defeated, when the credits rolled and the lights on. Not quite willing to believe that this is the end of the movie.
This is a waste of all the talents casted in this show. And lastly, it is a waste of a perfectly good idea and topic that needs to be debated upon – self-esteem, body image, gender roles, stereotyping of both men and women.
Meanwhile, I would just have to deal with the fact that I still don’t feel quite pretty after stepping out of the cinema, and landing on reality.
Oh, look (at my half hearted attempt to atleast put up a visual on my blog post)! That shot of the ong-lai came in handy afterall, just when I needed it the most.
I’ve been in a slump recently. I didn’t take much photos, didn’t edit photos, didn’t do this, didn’t do that.
I should just rename myself, Miss Didn’t-do.
The day finally came when I don’t have any pictures to update the blog with (which by the way, is the perfect excuse to not update blog).
I miss the me, who’s driven by passion. The me now is driven by sleep – if I embark on this, would I have less sleep? If yes, skip. If no, monitor, it could still very jeopardize my sleep in the long run.
Yes, judge if you must. Like any other human-being who is now stuck in the rat race, sleep is for the utmost important to me. I’m being very self-centric right here, there I’ve said it, stop hounding me over it. I became someone who is very focused on just getting by day to day.
I am your average city-dweller, who just wants the week to get through, so I can finally end the reign of the alarm clock on weekends. I am comfortable, everything is on auto-pilot mode.
Alls good, no?
Then on Friday, when I finally did sit down and watch a video. And it left me thinking, am I truly living? (cues existential crisis music)
I repeated his speech twice. There’s many brilliant souls that he mentioned. But the one thing he hoped for everyone of his friends present in the hall, struck me. Indeed, facing darkness with dignity.
Forget about long term dreams. Let us be passionately dedicated to the pursuit of short term goals, Micro-ambitious.
Work with passion and pride of what is infront of us.
We don’t know where we might end up, or when it might end up.
There you have it, Jake Bailey handled life after death with grace, dignity and wisdom. Death, reminds each and every one of us, that our time on this planet is finite. To some, death is but a rude awakening, or a legit excuse to further spiral down the abyss.
We are all so engrossed with setting long term goals, and work fiercely towards it. That we left out the minor progresses that deserves a celebration. Because in our own eyes, we are never enough, we are never adequate as compared to the brilliant souls who walked before us.
We are never enough.
The video is a timely reminder, that we are enough, if we seek to work with pride and passion.
We are enough.
I am enough.
It is time to ditch our worst critics, and enable us to grow at our own time and our own space. Ultimately, as time rolls by, you realize that perhaps, we are all…
Extra holidays are frivolous, so one must spend all the time outside with all the other folks who also didn’t work – says no one ever.
I am really thankful for friends who drive and volunteers to pick me up, to indulge in cafes that are out of reach.
We hit Da Paolo for lunch, this nice quiet cafe next to Botanical Gardens. It was no longer quiet after we entered the cafe.
In the typical fashion of me, I over-ordered. I had Carbonara and a large Latte AND an almond croissant (the last one of the day!). I think my brain registers all eating events as – GO BIG OR GO HOME. I usually end up as GO BIG THEN GO HOME.
I love the almond croissant, the crust, the almond, the custard and everything. I secretly wished that I didn’t polish off the carbonara, so that I can enjoy the croissant even more. Alas, the gluttony couldn’t bare to leave the plate alone.
After too much food, we head to Botanical Gardens nearby to (half-heartedly) walk off all the calories. The weather is sinisterly hot, which explains the clear blue skies. Our walk around the park lasted for approximately 20 minutes. Botanical Gardens is a beautiful place (when not crowded with 19328478924698234 people having picnics), the scenery is very un-Singapore-ish, and is a good place for an evening stroll with your friends. Or perhaps ponder over our mid-life crisis. Or to have conversations with ourselves (but not too loudly because you don’t want people to call the IMH on you).
Because it was a non-peak day, there weren’t any dogs available to stalk pet. There were alot of screeching kids. We saw people in heels and high slit cheongsams.
Walked over and saw the swans. All 3 of them, feeding on the attention that the crowd gave.
What magnificent birds! squealed one.
I look on with half curiosity and disdain. I hate birds, and they always seem to know that I have this morbid fear of them and charge towards me with malicious intent.
This one in the picture charged towards us with its wing all spread out. SEE! I told you the hatred is mutual!
Not peace-loving, no chill birds. I was looking at the tortoises ok, I wasn’t even standing near you!
I hate birds.
This is such an abrupt end to an otherwise happy post. I re-iterate that I am happy to hang out with my friend, just not too happy about getting chased by birds.
This afternoon, I took a photo of the pile of books on my table as I scribbled on my notebook.
My current reads:
The Zoo Quest Expeditions by Sir David Attenborough (please insert heart in eyes emoji in your own imagination)
and
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (in Chinese – I’ve gotten this a present last Christmas)
I used to beable to sit down for hours (perhaps that could also aid to explain my larger-than desired butt) and just read. I could read and forget about meals, and be in the zone. But sadly, these days, I’ve been fiddling with my phone more than my books.
My pile of books waiting to be read, waiting to be given life, sits in a lonely pile in a box – neglected, and seemingly abandoned.
The inertia is real, and very scary. The amount of guilt that I felt every time my gaze fell on the box is…
I took f.o.r.e.v.e.r to read through half of the book. The younger me would prolly look at the me now in absolute disgust, appalled at the person I’ve became (eh, sorry la. Adulting sucks, or rather I suck at adulting). I used to polish off books so fast, and concocted all these lovely little mini movies in my head whilst I read.
My attention span is now very very questionable and (somewhat) disappointing.
It’s extraordinary how self-obsessed human beings are. The things that people always go on about is, ‘tell us about us’, ‘tell us about the first human being’. We are so self-obsessed with our own history. There is so much more out there than what connects to us.
– Sir David Attenborough
Have you ever wondered, how curated everyone’s life is on social media? Not just the celebrities, but your friends, your relatives…
and you.
Are you guilty of curating your life too? Are you guilty of glamouring your photos and captions, so that yours is comparable with others?
Some days, when I tap on the app, and all the different images starts bombarding on the retina of my eyes. Woah, she’s diving! So cool! Wah…he’s in Europe right now – Envy! The food looks so yummy.(Or styled and edited to look so good – edibility each sold seperately.)
Everyone is so unique, and having the time of their life.
What about me? ole me?
While everyone is out there playing and enjoying (or I presume that they are). I’m actually stuck at home, feeling small and miserable. geeking it out and not feeling apologetic.
I don’t know why are we trained to believe that if we are not out there, doing something new and innovative, hanging out with friends – we are wasting our time moping at home, and that is frowned upon.
Imagine the numerous frowns that I’m about to subject myself to when I declare myself as a homebody. Sure, I have days when I wished that I can travel the globe without a care. Catch the sunrise every morning, without having to consider if I would be late for work. Catch the sunset every evening, preferably not from the windows of my workplace.
Like any other responsible human being on the planet, if you do realize it by now.
I work.
After I work, I’m too pooped to – even meet anyone, form a coherent sentence, hold a somewhat intelligent conversation with anyone.
I just want people to leave me alone.
I digress but now I’m at home, skin spotted with angry looking red rashes from food allergy, as I stared at the itchy inflamed skin, I can’t help but to feel maligned. I didn’t even eat any prawn, how on earth did all these happen. Away and alone, I do what I do best.
I read and I pop bubbles.
Accurate caption: I ITCHY. I ANGST.I SQUEEZE DIE DIS BUBBLE.
Accurate caption: SQUEEEEEEZE! AND POP!
Accurate Caption: I can’t pop bubbles, read, turn pages and take photos at the same time.
I kid.
The Kinfolk Home is a good read for those who are looking to decorate their new home or seeking interior design inspiration. Every home, comes with a story. This is what it should be, because…
After that nightmare with bralette, I stopped staring at bralettes. I’m secretly openly bitter over the fact that, I am, perhaps not suitable to wear bralettes. condemned to see all the pretty people indulge in that bralette craze.
I’m in such a mutually exclusive relationship with bralette, that I am literally…lost for words when I saw the Dayre community there caught up in a bralette craze. After clicking on blogs after blogs, it led me to the Mother of Bralettes on Dayre – braintango.
She says the bralettes would fit me and that our sizes are similar.
This sentence was like the rain after a long drought, the oasis in the desert (you get my drift). I got my hands on the padded strappy in both colors.
I literally held my breath when I started to put on the bralette, reminding myself to not to be disappointed if it doesn’t fit. But I guess I’m a worrywart for a good cause…
The bralette slipped on with ease.
It was soooooo comfortable and fit me like a dream (well, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t expect it to fit, so to fit in it – IT WAS ACHEIVEMENT UNLOCK!)
Ok, sold. So I inhaled in new products and releases. Let me tell you what you have been missing out.
The daily staple:
This is affectionately called the Boob hugger. The material is so soft and smooth! I kept touching the bralette because every woman enjoys a comfortable bra, trust me. It is comfortable, and provides sufficient support for an entire day of wear.
The Feel Good Wear:
I don’t even need to describe, you just have to look at the pictures and imagine how good it is.
Peekaboo lace midi.
Comfortable, but I honestly can’t wear this out, so I wore it at home to feel pretty.
Afterall, to be honest, the most important point about any lingerie, is comfort. Above price point, it is the comfort that we are looking out for. No one will wear a pretty but uncomfortable lingerie and run around for 8-9 hours at work each day. IT JUST DOESN’T CUT IT.
I am glad that after that nightmare episode, I found something suitable for me, and a local business that I am willing to introduce people to.
I’ve seen Iskra Lawrence posing in bralettes and reading about her cause for #bodypositivity . Iskra is like my goddess role model. She’s beautiful, smart and above all – confident in her skin.
I’ve been pondering whether I should purchase Aerie’s bralette. I’ve been sitting on it sooooo much, that I didn’t get around to doing it. Maybe the rude discovery of how filmsy a non-lined bralette is, aided in the decision to sit on it longer.
Then came my BKK trip in December 2016. Whilst my cute friend A, ventured into a local lingerie store to buy safety shorts, I went in to take a look as well. I was skeptical of everything I saw in the store, because I knew I was different from the standard thailand girl size, or the standard singaporean size. Past experiences tells me that…I won’t fit into anything here.
Then, something in the far corner caught my eye. It’s a bralette with front straps and IT’S LINED! AND IT HAS ELASTIC BAND! After enquiring with the owner who confidently told me that I’m able to fit in this, I happilyenthusiasticallydesperately asked for it in 2 different colors, paid and stuffed them in my bag.
Alas! When I got home to try it on. It was a nightmare. It was a struggle to put on the bralette (PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ELASTIC BAND ALSO DO HAVE LIMITS – THERE’S NO INFINITY STRETCH OPTION AVAILABLE). For a good minute I panicked, and I kept thinking what if I got stuck and people who save me will see me stuck precariously in this piece of lingerie. After convincing myself that I would not allow this to happen, I finally gathered my shit and shoved the lingerie in place. That’s right, SHOVED. I stared myself in the mirror and marvelled over the fact that:
WHY SO SMALL AH
SO TIGHT. OH YAS TOO SMALL.
OMG THE TRIANGLES ARE TOO SMALL
MY BOOBS ARE SQUISHED FLAT AND NOW LOOKS LONGITUDINAL
I FEEL STUPID
I KINDA RESEMBLE A BAZHANG (RICE DUMPLING) with all the different lines tying up my meat together
This nightmare did not end here. What has been put on, must be taken off. Wrestling with that piece of lingerie ensues, and I emerged victorious (else i would have appeared on the headlines the next day).
I sneakily banished this lingerie of shame in the dark corner of my closet – never to see the light of the day again.
It was all fine. I lived happily ever after with wired bras – or so I thought.
Accurate caption: I ITCHY. I ANGST.I SQUEEZE DIE DIS BUBBLE.
Accurate caption: SQUEEEEEEZE! AND POP!
Accurate Caption: I can’t pop bubbles, read, turn pages and take photos at the same time.
Hiam 